2024 09 22

Allison at the cabin in the Northwoods. St Germain, Wisconsin. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Writing is hard. I woke up this morning with a great story playing out in my head. Often, I’ll awake in the middle of the night, in the midst of a dream which seems like an amazing story, only to reassess the dream in the light of day as not very interesting after all. That said, today’s story was formed in my waking moments, while fully conscious of what I was crafting. Excitedly, I then rushed downstairs to my laptop and began to jot down my thoughts on the screen before immediately hitting a wall and losing all momentum. The sentences sounded fantastic in my head but proved impossible to get onto paper. Likely, my conscious brain began to over-think and harshly judge the words once they existed in the actual world, where other people might end up reading them.

All that said, I’m considering this a step in the right direction. Writing is not easy, art is not easy. I know this, but I’m optimistic that continued effort to translate these thoughts into real-life words will eventual pay off, much as my decades-long efforts into photography have given me a more comfortable approach to turning my ideas into photos.

-Clayton

2024 09 21

Setting up a tent. Chicago, Illinois. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Street photography is hard. It’s been on my to do list all year to get myself downtown to make some street photos. Instead, I’ve settled for a few organic moments which came to me, while listing reasons why I’m unable to get to the street photos. I need a new camera is the main reason. Sure, I don’t really need a new camera, but much like why I no longer go to music festivals, once you get a peek at the good life (VIP access, photo pits, free tickets, free drinks, etc), it’s hard to go back to slumming it as a normal person. My Ricoh sensor is fucked so can’t shoot beyond f2.8. My Canons are too bulky for street. My Nikon FM2 might work but film is expensive and I haven’t really used the thing in twenty years. My iPhone would work but you can’t be a professional using a phone to make photos.

Anyway.

It’s still on the list of things I’ll get to. Or maybe it’s best I don’t?

Partly why I haven’t gotten around to it is my personal life has been busy. While our wedding was a week ago now, I’m still having stress dreams about the wedding. Weirdly, while the event has come and gone, it all still feels like a blur of time; like it is still something to look forward to and not an event which has already happened which I should be posting a recap about instead of blogging about street photography.

Maybe I’ll get back to the street photography. Or maybe I’ll get the house back in order so we can feel like normal people again. Maybe there’s still time to make it to Riot Fest this weekend, after all.

-Clayton

2024 09 20

Stop sign, reflection. Chicago, Illinos. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Nathan Pearce’s show with Clint Woodside of Deadbeat Club starts in a few hours at my See You Soon studio space! He took the train up yesterday from his home in southern Illinois and we spent some time talking while he hung his work, which is beautiful and looks great printed large. His visit motivated me to get back into my own work, of which I had a big folder full of images from my work-in-progress Illinois series which I hadn’t yet touched. I’ve just been too busy this year to keep up on everything I’ve started or want to start doing. While this in itself is stressful, it made me excited for the winter months ahead as I will have no shortage of things to keep me busy.

Hope you can make it to the show today!

-Clayton

2024 09 19

Power lines. Sensor update. Nashville, Tennessee. April, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Have I mentioned that my Ricoh sensor is fucked? This image was made back in April and it’s only gotten much worse since then. I guess leaving the camera, which is unable to be opened and therefore cleaned, in your pocket every single day will wear it down quite fast. I’ve used and abused this thing since buying it two ish years ago and I have nothing but nice things to say about it, aside from this. The inability to clear the sensor without doing a risky disassembly is the only flaw this camera has.

Casey Neistat recently bought one of these cameras and, last I checked, was having a hard time figuring out how to use it. If you put a video camera in my hand, I’ll have the same reaction. It’s quite interesting how we become familiar with specific camera tools and, despite everything being quite similar, it can still feel very foreign until you put some time into it.

-Clayton

2024 09 18

Springtime in Humboldt Park. Chicago, Illinois. March, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

This is what my laptop desktop has looked like for about a year now. Instead of locating the folder I need on the desktop, I’ll open any random folder and use the search bar to type for it instead. My schedule, and my thoughts and focus, have been all over the place. I’ve been telling myself for months now that I will get around to organizing the desktop, and the studio, and the house, and my time. Yet, here we are, still scrambling.

I think this is a nice analogy for my life and a sign that I really ought to get my priorities a bit more straight. This is not to say I need a complete change in lifestyle, but better balance would be beneficial. It’s impossible to shine when you have a million tasks in front of you, blocking your view.

We watched Civil War last night. The movie is just okay but it got me feeling nostalgic for a different era of photography and photojournalism. Shooting film and developing film yourself while on the move. The movie got me wanting to get out and make more photos. The movie also got me wanting to make a movie myself. This post reminded me that I wanted to write some thoughts about the seasons and why I prefer living in a place like Chicago, where they are clearly defined (although increasingly less so these days).

Last week, I hosted a favorite musician in my space, David Dondero, for an incredible night, which was lightly attended. On Friday of this week, I am hosting a favorite Illinois photographer Nathan Pearce, which my negative-thinking brain assumes will also be lightly attended as it’s an afternoon affair. As I’m getting older, I’m learning that dwelling on the negative things doesn’t serve much good, and while I don’t yet believe in manifesting your reality, I see the point of people who do. More importantly, however, the takeaway is that I need to improve in communicating. It’s no easy task. I’ve always been wary of anything that feels like selling, but if I want people to participate in these things I am choosing to invest my time and energy in, it’s a non-negotiable!

This post has been as scattered as my brain has been felling, so I’m glad I could give you a taste of what I live with. Hope you can make it out on Friday!

-Clayton

2024 09 17

Haley and Allison prior to enjoying some Gene & Jude's hot dogs. River Grove, Illinois. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Well, shucks. My streak of posting every day ended at just over two-hundred and fifty consecutive days. While this bums me out, I also picked up a wife in my absence so I am calling it a win! The week of chaos leading up to our wedding on Saturday proved too much to overcome and I decided that some things are more important than posting silly pictures to the internet.

Annoyingly, Squarespace only allows up to 250 images in the image gallery, which we have now surpassed, and I’m not sure my best solution moving forward. This further demoralized me and caused me to consider something new moving forward. No decisions have been made thus far, so I will attempt to get back into the swing of a daily post and see where life takes me as I attempt to get back into the normal routines of not being the center of attention and having a million tasks being asked of you each and every day.

Also, I’m married!!

-Clayton

2024 09 11

Trees at night. Chicago, Illinois. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

I should be writing my wedding vows but I am instead writing a blog.

I vow to work on my wedding more than my blog this week.

Never forget.

-Clayton

2024 09 10

Busted car. Chatsworth, Illinois. June, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

We just finished watching the presidential debate while in the weeds on wedding prep. I had a concept of a plan for posting to the blog today, but in the end this was the best I could muster. USA! USA! Vote! Vote!

-Clayton ✌️

2024 09 09

Get rich or try sharing. Chicago, Illinois. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Look — admittedly I don’t know the answer. You book your favorite artist in the world, the best songwriter alive, and nobody comes to the show. It is what it is. You can’t pay people to enjoy quality entertainment these days. I don’t have an answer but the bummer part is you can be the most talented person in the world but unless you have a following, it doesn’t matter. This is a sad entry but the night was amazing I just choose to dwell on the negative aspects of it.

Ironically, the thing that likely makes the art that good is all the shit that happens en route to the art.

“We crossed this country a million times. Trillion roads, gazillion signs.” -David Dondero

Who knows if we’ll ever end up getting there but at least we tried.

-Clayton

2024 09 08

Buddy the dog. Chicago, Illinois. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

I took da day off. My boss, Pointing at Stuff CEO Virginia Halas McCaskey said it was okay.

Side note: if you’re in Chicago and free tomorrow night (Monday, Sept 9th), I invite you to come by my See You Soon studio from 7pm-10pm to enjoy some music, spoken word, beverages, and hangs with friends. It will be a nice night! Hope to see you there.

-Clayton

2024 09 07

With just a bit more data collection, we can make the world a better place! Chicago, Illinois. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Art is making choices, argues Ted Chiang in his recent piece on Ai for The New Yorker, which I’ve seen making the rounds on social media. I always find that, after a shoot day in which I’m typically producing thousands of images, I am both physically and mentally exhausted. The thing that doesn’t get as much attention when creating art is the sheer brain power required while doing it. It’s a never-ending flow of small and large decisions which compound and add up, eventually becoming the final product.

The original quote in Ted’s piece which caught my attention was this:

“The task that generative A.I. has been most successful at is lowering our expectations, both of the things we read and of ourselves when we write anything for others to read. It is a fundamentally dehumanizing technology because it treats us as less than what we are: creators and apprehenders of meaning. It reduces the amount of intention in the world.”

Reading this makes so much sense and helps to explain why I’m quite negative on all things artificial intelligence. This also reminded me that I pay for a New Yorker subscription and should give the full text a read, which you should also do if you have access to it! Upon doing so, a few more quotes which I enjoyed are as follows:

“art requires making choices at every scale; the countless small-scale choices made during implementation are just as important to the final product as the few large-scale choices made during the conception. It is a mistake to equate “large-scale” with “important” when it comes to the choices made when creating art; the interrelationship between the large scale and the small scale is where the artistry lies.”

“Generative A.I. appeals to people who think they can express themselves in a medium without actually working in that medium. But the creators of traditional novels, paintings, and films are drawn to those art forms because they see the unique expressive potential that each medium affords. It is their eagerness to take full advantage of those potentialities that makes their work satisfying, whether as entertainment or as art.”

…as Charlie Parker said: if you don’t live it, it won’t come out of your horn.

-Clayton

2024 09 06

A could festival goers. Chicago, Illinois. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

I’m now the proud holder of a marriage license. This does not mean I am legally married, according to the state, however, I am in the system as someone who is soon-to-be-married (and has paid sixty dollars cash). The friendly woman at the desk commended me for carrying cash, stating she “would never marry a man who didn’t have cash on him.” It’s nice to know my upcoming nuptials are officially sanctioned by the state. She was also glad to hear our wedding will be officiated by a cantor and not a notary or one of “the weird things people are doing nowadays” (we didn’t tell her about Jack). So, yes, we are on the track to getting it done and after roughly another four dozen things to cross off our checklist the day will have come and gone, and if the United States Post Office is able to function properly, we will be married!

-Clayton

2024 09 05

'tis the season, to get married! Chicago, Illinois. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

I woke up early and went straight to write my morning pages, then headed to the laptop to get up a post on the ole blog. I was feeling good! I had it all planned out in my brain, then got distracted and… eighteen hours later here we are, scrambling to get one up so I can go to sleep. My wedding is in nine days and there’s a lot to do and not enough hours to do it all. Luckily we have help!

-Clayton

2024 09 04

Busted car. Chicago, Illinois. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

This car hasn’t moved in three years. It exists solely for me to take an occasional photo of it, I think. One day, the hood was popped (as pictured)! I image the owner woke up in an ambitious mood. Today was the day they would watch a couple youtube videos and get their old car working again so they could drive down to the shrimp place on the south side they love but haven’t been able to get to in quite a while. A few hours later, the hood was back down and things returned to their normal state of being. The nearby shrimp joint will have to do.

See also: 2024 02 28

-Clayton

2024 09 03

Chicago at night, as seen from The Robey Hotel in Wicker Park. Chicago, Illinois. June, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

I’ve been around the country this year, specifically spending time in Nashville, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Cleveland and some smaller towns. One obvious visible takeaway is the 15-minute factor. I’ve noticed that upon arriving to these cities, I’ll be fifteen minutes to my destination and I’ll still be in what I consider to be a rural landscape. Then, suddenly, you enter a city. While in said city, you no longer realize how close you are to nature and nothingness. Chicago, on the other hand, is a more urban landscape stretching far into the distance. It’s impossible to place yourself fifteen minutes from downtown and not still be within civilization, unless you go straight east into Lake Michigan.

It’s interesting to me how places get a reputation. Everyone knows North Dakota, for example, as everyone knows Chicago. Everyone knows Ireland, yet most people likely don’t know Bangladesh, despite having 34 times as many people. The point is, places gain a reputation and acknowledgment far less than their actual capabilities. Chicago has a much greater GDP than both Dakotas combined, I’d wager, yet we get stuck with a reputation as determined by representatively few, while the Dakotas enjoy their relative strong representation with little incentive to invite more people to partake in their territory.

My point is, get out of your bubbles and explore reality, because it’s often far greater and far worse than what you’re being told.

-Clayton

2024 09 02

Mr Peepers in the window. Chicago, Illinois. April, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

It’s been a while since I’ve done a Life Update Monday. I figured it might be interested (to me, perhaps) to reply to my previous Life Update Monday (2024 07 08), as seen below in the bullet points.

• My commercial photography career continues along at unsustainable levels, causing me to continue to consider new career options (fine art photography? full-time motion directing? bar ownership?). Yes, I’m keeping quite busy on hospitality jobs and smaller projects, but the big budget jobs are less and less frequent. Something needs to change (I hope it’s more work!).

Fortunately, work has been very constant in the last two months. I’ve had two large commercial projects and a bunch of smaller stuff. I nearly booked a third even larger project, which would’ve made my year, but they ended up chosing the other photographer (it was down to the final two — I think my really thoughtful treatment helped almost win me the job…and writing here every day helped me with the treatment… etc, etc).

• The photo studio has been more stable (profitable, even!) lately, but I’m not yet optimistic this will consistently be the case moving forward (again, commercial projects have been way less frequent among photographers I know, myself included). I really love the studio space and want to make it work, but the amount of my time required just to get it breakeven is also not sustainable. Again, something needs to change (I hope it’s more work!).

I still love the space and it’s still a lot of work. It has also been continuing along at a busy pace. Last week was a nice example of what I’m aiming for the studio to be: I was out of town on work all week yet the space was busy with castings much of the week. Next week will also be a nice example of what I want the studio to be as there will be two great events happening! More on those below…

• While the big jobs are not going on, I spent the last week and a half diving deep into the world of portrait photography via my “Keep it 100” setups. I’m learning a lot and it’s actually been quite interesting, exciting even, to feel like I’m starting all over again and hustling for clients. Very much re-learning to appreciate every single dollar I earn through photography. Definitely planning to write more in depth about all this in the coming days.

I’m really looking forward to doing another round of “Keep it 100” portraits and have been scheming on other things I could do with it, like take it on the road perhaps. While in Pittsburgh a few days ago I kept an eye out for potential places I might be able to partner with for a limited run of dates. Need to think on this some more!

• I’d been planning to document both the RNC and DNC, however, stupidly had the wrong dates on my calendar and my one week of vacation in the Wisconsin Northwoods falls on the same dates as the RNC being held in Milwaukee, so I will likely miss most of all of it. Kind of annoyed about it but also really need to give myself some time off as I’ve been pushing myself way too hard lately. Still hoping to cover the DNC, which might be an absolute shit show. Politics are very depressing lately, but this might be one of the larger stories of our lifetime.

The political photo summer I’d been imagining never materialized. They have these things so locked down, though, it didn’t really have a chance from what my brain was imagining. We did, however, do a really fun DNC-adjacent event at the studio so I’m considering it a win.

• Had my first tarot card reading yesterday. It was surprisingly apt in its assessment.

Had my second tarot card reading two days ago! It, too, was a surprisingly accurate in its assessment. I realize there’s an angle to these things but I appreciate it gets you thinking about stuff you want to be thinking about.

• I started reading/doing The Artist’s Way after finally finishing the 640 page The Big Store, which was inspired by this previous post: 2024 03 29. I should do a book review or followup post.

Still working on The Artist’s Way and still keeping up with my morning pages most days (not all days, need to change that but have been too busy). Also, I did write a review of The Big Store (see: 2024 07 17)! Since then, I listened to the audiobook of Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir and have started the audiobook of The Wandering Earth by Cixin Liu which I am loving and wanted to do a review on Project Hail Mary, which I very much enjoyed the concept of (Wandering Earth is similar but maybe even better!).

• I booked my favorite musician (David Dondero) to play a show at the studio September 9th. Save the date! More info to come!

This show is happening a week from today! Monday, September 9th from 7-10pm at my See You Soon space. You should definitely come out, it will be a nice night!

• Now that this blog has been populated quite a lot, I’m getting rather annoyed at Squarespace’s rather minimal (bad) handling of blogs. This platform is not really designed for intensive writing or bulk posting. A search bar would be great! If only those had been invented.

Still annoyed with squarespace and they are not getting any better. I’m legit wondering if I should migrate the entire site elsewhere after a year.

• Can you tell I’m stressed about money these days? While that does suck, I’ve been quite high on life otherwise and feeling great about most everything else! Money stress is never fun but I continue to tell myself it’s just money and we’ll figure it out.

Still stressed about money but less so (working helps a lot, it turns out!). Also, the stress largely stems from how much we are spending on our wedding, which is now less than two weeks away! I’m leaning that anything wedding-related is expensive in large part because of the psychology of weddings. It’s only money, afterall, and the love of your partner and family and friends is far more important, so you tend to just let it all slide and plan to worry about it later.

This has been a Life Update Update. Thank you for being here.

-Clayton

2024 09 01

Little Egg Boy in Atlanta, Georgia. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

I took an afternoon off to wander Atlanta and make some photos. Really, I wanted to explore a bit and see some new sights. Take in the scenery. I hopped on a Lime-brand scooter and ended up in a cute neighborhood off the Belt Line, filled with charming streets and proud houses with character. Being a photographer out hunting for details, my senses were alerted to a strange man who seemed to be following me. Clearly this man wanted to steal my backpack full of expensive electronics. I zigged and I zagged and I detoured away from the man so I didn’t have to continually look over my shoulder and be on guard.

The scooter took me up and down Atlanta’s hills at a rapid rate. One thing I dislike about driving in a car is all of the photos you catch a glimpse of but are forced to miss. One thing I dislike about driving in car is all the fine details that can’t be observed like they can while walking. Utilizing a scooter is sort of a compromised approach to both maximizing your exploration time when you’re on a tight schedule and want to fit it all in, while also having the ability to hop off at a moment’s notice to grab some photos.

Rounding a corner of this charming neighborhood, the strange man from earlier suddenly came into view up ahead. Now I was stalking him. As I gained a better perspective, it became clear that this strange man was being so strange because he was just like me! He was out wandering and exploring the neighborhood. He held a film camera in his hand and was making photos. An immediate sense of shame washed over my body which could only be alleviated by stopping the scooter to say hello.

“I’m Little Egg Boy,” he informed me. He was out making photos. We swapped instagram handles and became digital friends, forever bonded by beautiful images we both made of a dusty old red car parked across the street. Those images have twice made appearances on this here blog (2024 08 17, 2024 06 23) and today, the third time is the charm. Little Egg Boy is an interesting man, not a strange man, and that day he was a nice reminder to me that it’s usually best to keep an open mind and allow yourself to have the mysterious encounters that all too often tend to shut us down and make us afraid.

-Clayton

2024 08 31

My buddy Ken on a dark and stormy night. Chicago, Illinois. June, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

I was reminded, while passing this exact spot, that I hadn’t yet blogged today and only had an hour left on the clock to do so before my streak would be broken. I decided in the moment than some things are more important than self-imposed blog rules and therefore am now posting fifty-three minutes late (we stayed out and had some fun!). Luckily nobody reads this here blog so my secret will be safe with me alone.

Sometimes you stay out late and make bad decisions to help put all the good decisions into perspective.

-Clayton

2024 08 30

Another day. Another ordinary house photo. Or is it? Chicago, Illinois. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

I’m standing in a cheap motel room outside of Pittsburgh with the clock ticking yet again dangerously close to missing a day of posting to this here blog. I’m amazed by how economic we’ll call it American hotel designs have become in a never-ending race towards maximizing profitability. Floors and walls seemingly made of cardboard and shower towels becoming so small they have nearly disappeared completely. But for simply sleeping eight or so hours, I’ll put up with all of this as long as the room is cheap, clean, and the bed is somewhat comfortable.

On my drive out here from Baltimore, I was reminded of a photo project I’d been wanting to do, which I never will do, due to it requiring a ridiculous amount of time to execute with likely underwhelming results. The idea is cute, though! While driving, my car’s navigation will often show me businesses that are located within residential neighborhoods. Usually they are expected (Haircuts by Jenn, Remarkable Wedding DJ Stan, etc), however, sometimes they are hilariously grand (International Shipping Inc, Global Finance Consulting, etc). I thought it would be fun to photograph these wildly ambitious corporate headquarters to create a series of images of mostly modest houses juxtaposed with the grand legal names. But the years of time it would take to compile this project is depressing when you consider Ai could build you similar-looking results in approximately ten seconds.

Side note: I drove past Baltimore Photo Space on my way out of town after an amazing taco dinner at Clavel and peered into the window with lustful eyes. Sadly, an actual visit to BPS will need to wait until who-knows-whenever I can get my ass back to Baltimore and be there on a Saturday morning.

-Clayton

2024 08 29

Lake waves. St Germain, Wisconsin. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Ten minutes prior to deadline. Although, technically, I’ve missed the deadline since it’s passed midnight in my current location on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean. I’ll give myself a pass since it’s not quite tomorrow yet in Chicago. But I’m walking on thin ice around here. This image, made in upstate Wisconsin, reminded me of my week here on the waters of coastal Maryland. I always love making images of water and waves, especially when beautiful lighting is involved. It’s cheap, sure, but look how mesmerizing this is!

See you tomorrow (today).

-Clayton