2024 11 21

Pub pup. Chicago, Illinois. September, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

The pub pup owns the bar floor. Controlling the territory amongst the patrons’ shoes. You attempt a candid photo of the pup but any attention puts him on high alert, excited to be noticed by the figures towering above him, and the moment is lost. Pup’s owner is excited that you notice his child. “Make all the photos you want! Here, let me get him to pose for you!” But you want that candid moment of pub pup resting his weary head among the patrons’ shoes. The moment is not meant to be, but pup is happy to be noticed. Let’s get another round.

-Clayton

2024 11 20

Fellow photographer Carlos Javier Ortiz, out working. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Dearest blog, I remain busy. Too busy to spend time with you. I wake, walk to the studio, make photos, edit photos, think about photos, invoice for photos, plan future events, then walk home, eat supper, and sleep. This has been my life the past five days. Tomorrow, there are no more new photos, so I will begin to catch up on other stuff and spend more time with you, dear blog.

-Clayton

2024 11 19

Houses for sale! Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. August, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

If I had a bunch of money, I’d buy some funky old houses in Pittsburgh, fix them up, and then… I’m not sure. I guess I could live in one of them but what do you do with the rest? Sell them? To who? A big part of why Pittsburgh is great is because it’s not Washington DC or Austin or Boston or Charlotte. Sure, Pittsburgh probably would still be great if it did become a trendy tech hub filled with rich bros. At least my house renovation dreams would make financial sense instead of just being fun to imagine. The problem with some of these ideas, however, is they only make sense in the hypothetical world you have built up in your head. Like Kamala Harris becoming president, or opening a bar inside the building you work at, some ideas are destined to remain fantasy.

-Clayton

2024 11 18

Paul Bunyan statue. Atlanta, Illinois. November, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

While editing photos (that will be used in social media ads) at the studio until 10pm tonight, this gem of a video popped into my feed. It sort of perfectly sums everything up, doesn’t it? Between social media feeling like a job, my actual job feeling largely impossible lately, and our political reality feeling absolutely insane, it’s no wonder I’ve been finding joy in venturing to rural Illinois to escape and make images of whatever I find interesting, like this plexiglass Paul Bunyan statue which looks rather terrifying as well, now that I think about it.

If you haven’t seen the video below, watch it on repeat like I have been tonight (healthy!).

-Clayton

2024 11 17

Big tree on Wooded Island. Chicago, Illinois. September, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Today was an off day for the blog. Clayton, however, spent the entire day working. He was doing portrait sessions at the studio and this image, made over the summer, is one of the hundreds of backdrops he uses in his setup, which is super fun and creative. People get hundreds of unique photos after only a few short minutes in front of the camera. Of course, this also means Clayton has to edit all the photos he makes before sending them to the subjects. Clayton is tired.

Today, Clayton also used a petzval lens for the first time in his career. He got it specifically for his portrait sessions and it worked really well and added a fun, new unique element to the already cool process. The only downside to this fun new lens is that it doesn’t have auto focus, so many of the shots end up blurry. He doesn’t mind too much, though, as softer images aren’t necessarily a bad thing. He is, however, also considering possibly getting the new DJI lidar focus (mostly for video purposes), which would make this cool lens a bit more functional.

Oh yeah, Clayton forgot today is an off day for the blog and he really needs to go to bed right now. Clayton says goodnight.

-Clayton

2024 11 16

This is my life (iykyk). Chicago, Illinois. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

It’s ten pee em on a Saturday night and I’m at the studio burning the midnight oil; learning to be an artist; printing, mounting, and framing photos I plan to hang downstairs in the building’s lobby for people to ignore for a few months. It could be worse, I could be out there making images of strip malls at sunset!

I have many more thoughts on the topic (of being an artsit and whatnot), which I will get out of me in various ways, but tonight I must get home to eat dinner with the wife. She already doesn’t understand why I’m here, now, doing this. Whatever this is.

For now, two quick thoughts:

1. this song, linked below, is special. Listen to it. Absorb it.

2. I have a better(?) Tim Davis (yeah, that one) post that’s been in the works for about three months now. Time, it’s a bitch.

-Clayton

2024 11 15

It’s Saturn! …as seen from St Germain, Wisconsin. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

This might be the best terrible photo I’ve ever made. It’s Saturn, as seen through a telescope up in Wisconsin’s Northwoods during our summer cabin getaway.

Can you imagine what it must’ve felt like for the first humans to witness this planet, once telescope technology got good enough to see it with the naked eye?! Sure, it looks like shit as seen in this image. That’s not the point. We all know what Saturn looks like in all its magical beauty, through closeup images made via probes, and space telescopes, and NASA image editing, but I’ll tell you what, seeing this with your naked eye is quite a sight. It legitimately changed my perspective on our universe. As you peer into an eyepiece and catch a glimpse of this planet, which in our reality is very very far away, you start to think maybe it’s not actually that far away. Maybe we are part of something bigger. Maybe we will one day be able to easily venture out into our solar system and beyond. The miracles that await us, out there, we can only imagine.

-Clayton

2024 11 14

Self portrait. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

This is how I feel lately. Doing too much, can’t catch up, feeling like not much makes sense. I am, however, excited for a five-day run of studio portrait dates I’ll be setting up starting tomorrow night. There’s a new petzval lens heading my way that I’ll be attempting to work into the process, as well. Oh yeah, there’s also a big post about that in the works too. Perhaps I will finally get it posted.

-Clayton

2024 11 13

Strange girls. Chicago, Illinois. September, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

No post yesterday (until now) because I decided to tell work to fuck off for a bit. I’m kind of buried with work right now, mostly self-imposed of course, and the previous night my buddy Dave invited me to see Dehd at Thalia and I decided I needed to focus on getting shit done. Fast forward 24-hours later and my wife Allison texted me to see if I wanted to go see Dedh at Thalia (they played 3 nights in a row). It was like The Universe was testing me! Of course, my instinct was to say no thanks and keep working (I was in a groove trying to finish printing and framing fifteen pieces for a show in the building that I need to hang soon). After some internal struggle, I decided I should drop my work shit and get my ass outside into the dark, rainy night.

It was the right decision, of course. The music was pretty good, the fresh air was nice, the tacos we got after the show were delicious, and letting my brain decompress for a bit was ideal. More interestingly to me, however, was that we ran into not one, not two, not three, but four people at the show who we knew. On top of that, two of them were helpful with my work I was “neglecting” (planning a holiday market at the studio), so in a weird way, I was being more productive at work while not working. The Universe was showing me the way.

Long story short, down time is non-negotiable. Get your ass out of the house regularly.

-Clayton

2024 11 12

Sipping a tasty Wisconsin Old Fashioned in summer. St Germain, Wisconsin. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Self-promotional post today, because it’s going to be a fun one and you should totally be there! I’m hosting an event in my studio space next Thursday for the release of Crust Fund Pizza’s new pizza cookbook, Super Pizza World! Tickets are $75 but that also gets you a copy of the book (which is awesome and I have some writing in there myself!), along with a bunch of food and drinks. Plus, all the money collected is going to benefit a nonprofit organization in the building, Chicago Mobile Makers. As of writing this, there are about ten tickets remaining, so if this sounds fun, click this link asap for more info and to snag a spot!

-Clayton

2024 11 11

To be great it takes years of consistent dedication. Cubs pitcher Shota Imanaga photographed during a portrait shoot for Chicago Magazine at Wrigley Field. Chicago, Illinois. June, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

It’s been a minute since I’ve done a proper Life Update and this week will be no different, however, the topic loosely applies. I’m in the early phase of a Pivot to Video, largely spurred by a collapse in demand for commercial photography, but also aided by a lifelong love of video and filmmaking (it’s complicated why I’m not already more focused on it). In this phase, I’m spending a lot of time watching youtube videos. I swear, it’s productive… at least to an extent. Film school is what I keep calling it. Realistically, there’s just a lot of new shit that I need to get up to speed on. Of course, I’m well aware that the only way to be successful at this new venture is not by watching videos but by doing it. Every damn day.

Most, if not all, of the credit to my success in commercial photography can be summed up by putting in the work. Spending the time. Consistent focus and dedication.

In my recent film schooling sessions, I came across a channel by DP Luc Forsyth because he did some camera tests I was curious about. Digging deeper into his channel, I watched this video linked below, which so brilliantly summed up these ideas on success within the industry, ideas I already fully agree with and believe in, but ideas I found interesting specifically because he put them in terms of growing his youtube channel as a working DP. This idea of starting a channel is one I’ve been dwelling on for years now, without taking the leap, mostly because I fully understand the challenges involved. It’s frustrating when I post some photos on Threads and they get zero likes. It’s frustrating when I post a blog to give away a print and get zero engagement. It’s likely far more frustrating to spend hours or your life painstakingly crafting and posting videos for them to go completely ignored by the eight or so billion people living in this world.

Luc summed up his growth projections so well and accurately:

1 year of weekly posting = 1,000 subscribers
2 years of weekly posting = 10,000 subscribers
3 years of weekly posting = 100,000 subscribers

This chart is the sole reason I don’t yet have a youtube channel. I know in my bones it’s accurate, if not optimistic, and the sheer amount of time, energy, effort and focus required to put towards making a new video each and every week, without fail, is daunting. The idea that committing to this for a full year, after which you may get you a thousand subs is almost comical. But that’s not the reason to do it. It’s for year three. Year ten. Year twenty.

I’m already in my forties so the feeling that it’s now or never, the feeling that I’m running short on time is very real and the biggest thing holding me back from going all-in on video. I still love still photography as well and not yet fully convinced I can’t make it work for another twenty years. Anyway, these are the things I am spending a lot of time thinking about lately.

-Clayton

2024 11 10

Another busted car (this one’s a big one!). Chicago, Illinois. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

As I sit on my couch this beautiful summer fall afternoon (it’s sixty-two degrees today!), I find it appropriate to post yet another Busted Car image. While Trump and his crew of Elites (wait I thought they hated elites?) figure out how to best pillage this nation’s fine institutions in the name of tax breaks for themselves (that we voted for!), I think to myself, it could be worse; I could be a Bears fan.Wait, fuck.

-Clayton

2024 11 09

Mysterious alley. Cleveland, Ohio. August, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Came across an interesting discussion with author Cormac McCarthy (shown below) in which he discusses his thoughts on the subconscious (it speaks in code because language is, evolutionarily-speaking very new). They also discuss “The Night Shift” being the time, while sleeping, when your brain is working and processing thoughts and problems.

The Night Shift is fascinating to me, and I do my best to stay in touch with it (though admittedly I’m not very well connected to it and want to get better). I’ll remember dreams only if I’m awoken during them (normal, I think). Maybe it was Dali who would set elaborate contraptions to wake him up mid sleep at varying times in order to allow his waking brain to capture buts of what his sleeping brain was working on. This is fascinating!

This morning, I woke up to a dream I often have but with a twist. I regularly have what I call “set dreams” which are basically just me working on a photo production. The difference this time was that the set was a motion set, signaling to me that I’m finally embracing my reluctant pivot to video. These dreams are usual banal, however, I love the idea that I’m running scenarios and gaining “experience” while I sleep to better prepare myself for the often stressful days that I go through in my day job as a professional photographer.

Last night, I was awoken in the middle of the night by a song I had been creating(?) in my sleep. This is another reoccurring dream scenario I have, which makes me wonder if perhaps I do have worthwhile music in me that wants to get out (I’ll often have the urge to start a band despite the fact I can’t play any instruments). I’ve never been able to remember one of these dream songs well enough in my waking hours to know if they are any good, however, the same sort of thing happens with movies I am “creating” in my dream state and those are typically far less amazing in the sobriety of the waking life.

-Clayton

I could listen to Cormac McCarthy talking about creativity and the unconscious mind for weeks pic.twitter.com/0FrM9E2QPg

— Dylan O'Sullivan (@DylanoA4) November 9, 2024

2024 11 08

Majestic Theater. Past its prime. Streator, Illinois. November, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

There’s this thing that happens when you (or, me, I should clarify) walk into any bar in rural Illinois. It’s the stereotypical record scratch you see on television. An instantaneous recognition from everyone inside that an outsider has entered. Things go quiet for a brief moment, which can feel like eternity depending on your level of anxiety, as you make your way inside, assessing which seat might be least awkward to claim for yourself.

My goal is to eventually embody a presence that goes largely unnoticed in these situations. Currently, my city-slicker outsider vibe is far too strong to go unnoticed, which is a bit unfortunate because I take blending in to my environment very seriously. I’ve long thought observation to be one of, if not my most important strengths. I can use it to my advantage in my pursuits of photography, and now writing.

A week ago I drove down south with Lincoln, Illinois in my crosshairs. I spent the day wandering and photographing various towns along the way. It’s endlessly remarkable to me how many towns exist which feel completely lost to time.

Two larger takeaways occurred to me on this day:

One: my still-vaguely defined “Illinois Project” photobook was the main motivator for this trip. I haven’t been putting enough time into it and I’ve hit some snags in the process. I’m finding much of the work I’ve made has been too wide. Landscapes, mostly, devoid of people and any intimacy. One goal on this specific day was to involve humans in my work. The challenge was finding people — any people. There just aren’t many people out here wandering these towns and rural places, meaning the images I have forming in my head would likely require me to “produce” them by bringing people along with me. I’m not sure this is the route I want to take. Perhaps, I should lean into the desolation and capture a more true-to-life portrait of a place? The worry is that much like these empty towns themselves, most people will not be interested in seeing this work, and that’s the opposite of my goal. I want people to see the beauty in these places, and therefore I’m thinking I should instead begin to share the work more widely as I make it, instead of squirreling it away on hard drives for some hypothetical future date when I will do a show or release a book.

My inbox helped me come to this conclusion after getting another gem of a piece from Meaghan Garvey’s substack Scary Cool Sad Goodbye, in which she so beautifully captures the spirit of the Midwest through her adventures. Now, I’m thinking a more ongoing web presence, in some form, is a better way to go about this project, as I learn what this project even is. Ill Wandering.

Two: I have a vision in my head of a Plan For a New Illinois. This plan, while likely an impossible pipe dream, would see massive resources and money directed at Central Illinois with the goal of increasing the region’s population to three times what it is now, at roughly 2 million people. Perhaps I will post the Plan here for my tens of readers to check out! Maybe one of y’all knows the governor and can send it along to him. While it’s clear Illinois is broken in many ways, it also gets a lot of over-dramatic hate tossed its way. That said, I’m not sure an influx of more people is the fix we need. Places like Austin, Texas largely lose what made them great, as a glut of tech money and influence bros move in and completely change the dynamic of the place.

This week’s election has muddied my vision as well. I get frustrated seeing places that are so clearly past their prime, and my instinct is to shine a light on them and figure out ways to help them prosper once again. But now, I’m not sure more people or more attention is what these places want. It’s likely the exact opposite (worth exploring in this project of mine, perhaps!).

-Clayton

2024 11 07

The Thompson Center, undergoing a transformation. Chicago, Illinois. July 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Things change. When I was a kid, my dad brought us downtown and I vividly remember the awe inspired by this building as we entered its public atrium. This, in part, made me want to become an architect when I got older. Instead, I eventually became obsessed with video shooting and ended up pursuing that as a career as I entered my young adult years. The video obsession eventually morphed into a still photography obsession, largely because it was easier for me to make work by myself, and didn’t need to rely on others to get things done. Candidly, I was an introverted shy kid and navigating the necessity of forming a big crew to make video productions happen seemed daunting to me at the time. When I found some traction as a photographer, it was a no brainer to shift my attention to that.

Now, I find myself an older guy and the Thompson Center is underground a tech-funded transformation (along with our country, it turns out). This morning, I woke up excited about video for the first time in a long time. It was an interesting observation and one that has gotten me excited! I’ve never lost my love for video and filmmaking, however, it’s been firmly in the back seat for my entire adult life. New cameras and accessories are now being released, which are making me giddy to get my hands on them. I’m in the early days of a documentary project that is getting me excited, and I’m planning on collaborating on a bunch of test shoots this winter with a talented DP friend to showcase what we can do with beverage and food.

More to come as I make steps towards a new and exciting pivot in my professional career.

-Clayton

2024 11 06

Today, we stare into the void. Chicago, Illinois. September, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Here we go again. Hold on to your butts. Last night was a gut punch for many of us, but here we are. Lots of people will have lots to say, with hindsight on their side, but I think my biggest takeaway is that we don’t have an effective opposition to Trump populism. The Democratic party is run by a largely-senile president who was pushed out of office against his own wishes and was nowhere to be seen throughout the election; along with a former president who is nowhere to be seen until it’s time to campaign for a few weeks leading up to the vote; along with a former Speaker who, while smart, is an 84-year old millionaire none of us can relate to or connect with. This isn’t the kind of leadership that wins elections and unless something changes, it will continue to happen over and over again.

Kamala was not a perfect candidate, but she ran a decent campaign, all things considered. Sure, she could’ve done many things differently, but I don’t think it would’ve changed the outcome one bit. It was an impossible task and now we live in a world where the only two female presidential candidates in our countries’ history have both been defeated by Donald Trump. It stings, bad. It’s a grim reality, but it is our reality and if we want it to change, we’ll need to stay engaged, stay focused, and stick together.

-Clayton

PS - I think Jon sums it up well here, and Jonathan does a pretty entertaining job as well, below that:

2024 11 05

Trump fan on the roll during the RNC in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

It’s election day. Please make sure you vote! While far from a perfect candidate, I think Kamala is the clear choice for the top job. I won’t get into the politics beyond this, aside to say this will be a historic day in American, regardless the outcome.

Be safe, be kind, and good luck to all.

-Clayton

2024 11 04

Remember that eclipse? Vincennes, Indiana. April, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

It turns out I got a couple decent shots of the eclipse afterall! Yeah, that thing that happened way back in April, which feels like a lifetime ago. I wrote about feeling frustrated after the experience (see: 2024 04 11) in that I hedged and neither fully enjoyed the moment nor committed to making a nice image of it. That said, it was an incredible experience nonetheless and I’m so grateful that we made the effort to be there in person for it.

A nice little bonus was that months later, when I finally got my film developed, there were a few nice exposures on it that I had completely written off as not likely to be worthwhile. This frame above I’m quite sure I made through the highly filtered solar glasses, which helps give it a darker appearance, while the on-camera flash illuminates the tree. It was all happening so fast that instincts took over and most of what I remember is the feeling of frantic and chaotic awe.

Fittingly, my plan today was to post a quote. When researching the below quote (so many famous quotes are inaccurately attributed), I was pleased to learn this was indeed said by Einstein in an interview about his theory of relativity, which was proven correct through measurements taken during a total solar eclipse.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

— Einstein

-Clayton

2024 11 03

Another Mr Peepers. Chicago, Illinois. September, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Yesterday, Sunday, I took my day off so seriously that I forgot to post anything at all. I blame the Bears, who so demoralized me, I lost the will to do anything at all. Chicago sports is remarkable, really. Our teams experience occasional brilliant glory and then spend the next decade or two toiling away among the worst and most poorly-run organizations in all of sports. We’ll get ‘em next year, I’ll say again next year!

-Clayton

2024 11 02

Staying aflot to catch some lunch. St Germain, Wisconsin. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

The other day, I asked a friend if she wanted to get involved in one of my endless list of side projects. She politely declined by saying she was “underwater”. This caused me to realize I’ve been fully submerged myself for three years now, like a fish swimming around towards whatever task it deems most important or most interesting any given day or moment. I’m starting to wonder how sustainable this approach to life is!

That said, the last three years of my life have been perhaps the best (recency bias may play a factor, sure, but this is an honest assessment!) as I’ve gotten married, explored a ton of new things, built out my studio which I’m incredible proud of, made endless new contacts, focused more on my creative outlets (was just out working on a personal project yesterday), ditched a bunch of less-healthy distractions (stock market, politics and geopolitics, largely), and a bunch more I’m probably not thinking of. On top of all this, however, the last few years have also easily been the most stressful of my adult life from a financial perspective. I often wonder if these two divergent trends are related (I think they are, to an extent) and how my happiness might be affected if I was rolling in cash (happiness is over-rated but money is even more so, imo!).

Anyway.

These are some thoughts I should further explore in writing in the months ahead. Today, I attempt to swim to the surface to catch a view of things.

-Clayton